WAR VETERANS

Fred mistakenly gets on a bus full of war veterans, but upon discovering it is going his way, decides to stay on for the ride.
He sits down next to a guy that jerks his head to the left every few seconds, over and over. This really bothers Fred so he asks him, “What’s wrong with you?”
The reply is, “I got this in the war.”
Fred finds this pretty disturbing so he switches seats.
The next guy he sits by has uncontrollable spastic twitches in his right leg, causing him to kick the seat in front of him, and even kicks Fred a few times.
So Fred asks him, “What is wrong with you?”
Again the answer is, “I got this in the war.”
Fred moves.
The next guy poor Fred sits by begins erratically flailing his left hand. Fred says, “Let me guess, you got that in the war?”
His reply was, “No, I got it out of my nose. I can’t get it off of my hand.”

Gun Barrel

A man joins the crew of a ship. After a few days he gets restless and asks “What does one do about sex around here?”
The others direct him to a large gun barrel with a hole in it. At first he does not like the idea much but, when he tries it, he finds it surprisingly enjoyable. He has another go the next day, and again the day after.
Then he asks, “Can I do this every day?”.
“Yes, every day, except Wednesdays”.
“Why not on Wednesdays?”
“Wednesdays is YOUR turn inside the barrel!”

Stealth Bomber at the Rose Parade

The Pasadena Tournament of Roses parade was buzzed by a B-2 stealth bomber as part of the salute to the Air Force. Reportedly, nobody noticed.